The person I am most competitive with is myself, and for that reason, I love to make any task a game. I have never spoken about this part of my process before because there have been times (especially regarding social media) where it has become toxic for me, and I had to pull back and re-evaluate.

My favorite thing to gamify is my goals. Two years ago, at the end of 2024, I participated in the trend of doing a 2025 BINGO card. Each square a goal that I wanted to accomplish in the new year. I didn’t hit BINGO because I realized pretty early on in the year that things I cared about in December might not be the same things that I care about in March.

Enter the quarterly BINGO card. I first saw this idea from creator CurlyWavyPatty on Instagram. Creating a BINGO card with goals and a reward for said Bingo for every 3 months of the year! Genius. A game that can change and grow with me! I didn’t make my quarter two card until the end of April, so for quarter 3, I wanted to do something special. While I was mulling around ideas for how I wanted my BINGO to look, I found some videos on Pinterest of people making loyalty punch cards for their goals as well. I combined the two things and am very excited about how they turned out.

I love things that have a handmade touch to them, and these cards have been so fun to fill out so far. If you would like to see the process of me making them, you can watch the video here:

If you make any yourself please let me know!

If you have followed me for any amount of time, you know that I have a “thing” about having a journal just for memory keeping. I wasn’t always this way. I kept journals of my day-to-day throughout childhood and through my four years of high school before transitioning to a LiveJournal (anyone remember LiveJournal?)

This is not a situation where I am going to tell you, “Oh, I don’t know what happened, I just stopped.” I know exactly what happened: life got painful and hard, and even though there was joy, the pain and sadness seemed to never stop. Even though I kept writing, I found myself throwing those journals out or, in some cases, burning them outside. I never wanted to remember or re-read all those details. It never made me feel better…ever.

I have tried over the years to pick it up again, but the last 3 years in particular have been rough and I have found that even just the mention of memory keeping would make me irratible.

This year I have fallen into the rabbit hole of creating my own reality. Which means I am trying to be more aware of how negative I am being and how much negative content I am consuming. With this the notion that all my days are beautiful no matter what happens. Also embracing signs all around me with more intention and just trusting my own intutition.

Earlier this week I checked out the free little library next to my community garden and was drawn to a spine that said “The Book of I”. I pulled it out only to find that is was someones planner/journal from 2020. It had no identifiying information but as I flipped though a few of the pages I was taken with the writing. This was someones covid era journal where they were alone and missed their family and they had still managed to make every day seem so lovely and beautiful even when they were sad. There was always a sprinkle of gratitude in there.

It inspired me.

So I bought a Hobonichi avec and pulled out a joyful a6 cover I never got to use properly and I will do one page a day. I am not promising every page will look pretty, but I am promising myself that I will write. Things that happened, things that were said, how I felt. I will let it live in this little book in gratitude. A reminder that no matter what is happening there is something to be greatful for, something that is still beautiful.

It’s okay to change your mind about something, and to give things another shot.

You know I love to do an unconventional monthly round-up post. I have decided to link all my monthly lists to my Benable account so you can easily access all of my recommendations. Here is your direct link to MAY. (If you do join Benable please consider using my sign up link!)

At the end of this post I will have my newest youtube video where I follow one of Art Witch Academy classes to make a song lyric accordion book.

MAY FAVORITES

Bekah at FestivalStyled: I have been following Bekah for a few years now, and I just love her content. It is so fun, creative, and fresh. Bekah’s primary content is making costumes for, and going to raves and festivals, so there has been a lot to watch as the season ramps up!

A few weeks ago I picked up some illustration board at the reuse store and promptly covered them all in alcohol ink backgrounds. I used some grid paper to sop up the extra ink and am obsessed with how these papers turned out. They also dry fast and you can stack them when they are wet for even cooler effects.

One fun thing about being so into K-pop is photocard collecting

I am enjoying every aspect of hanging charms and photocards off of every single purse I own. Everyone who knows me knows I love a Labubu and yes, I am still using them.

In addition to alcohol inks, I have been utilizing water-soluble art tools like crazy. They are such an easy way to add color and marks into your journal pages without creating a huge mess. I don’t always have a lot of time to create, and using these types of tools are essential for me. My most recent purchase was a new set of Ecoline watercolor markers.

Of course, you can also get the same effect with Crayola markers, which are also water soluble!

Finally, for my last may favorite - here is the music video for the song that inspired my art book below!

Check out my newest YouTube video/ art process video making an accordion book from the lyrics to this song:

This week has been a doozy, and I don’t even know where it went. This week, the biggest lesson I have learned is:

CONSISTENCY IS KEY

Everything is improving, growing, and changing for the better because I am not only being consistent, I am setting larger and loftier goals for myself every day and I truly know that I can reach them.

These are my scrappy books

Creatively, I am making a note of all the “rules” I set for myself in my brain regarding my art practice, and I am pushing myself to go against them. I am not a perfectionist, but I do get caught in the mental trap of: everything that I make has to be me processing some emotion, event, or feeling. My logical brain knows that this is not what art is about at all, so this week I took some steps to force myself out of it.

In last week's YouTube video, I began working on a paper catalog I found in my stash. All week, I have forced myself to glue stuff down into this “zine”. It does not look how I want it to look, and it is definitely not finished, but I can say that I have worked on it every day this week. Along with this zine, I made a small mini book out of some paper scraps and have been gluing things in that as well.

I made a list of all the books I am working in at the moment, and I believe there are 4 books, a zine, and a series of standalone collages. This volume of work at one time is definitely outside of my comfort zone, but I do not have anxiety because I decided I would not allow myself to be frustrated and overwhelmed by paper. Some days, certain things get put to the side, but eventually I come back around to my ongoing projects.

Having so many things going on at once has also allowed me to focus on my own personal symbolism. The types of images that I always pull out when looking for things to use in my work: Eyes, hands, cups, wings, and space. I have embraced what I like because ultimately that is my style, even if my weird brain is telling me I am just doing the same shit over and over again.

I tend to be really hard on myself for no reason, so I actively made the choice this week to let that go because there is no point. Nothing is that serious, time I fake, and if it doesn’t make me happy, I don’t need to do it anymore, nor do I need to explain myself.

If you are having trouble creating at the moment, I invite you to grab a random pile of stuff and just start gluing or stapling and see what comes of it. You can throw it when you are done, or you can frame it to remind yourself that you are still an artist even when you don’t feel like one.

I have been in a major art block since March 2024. When I say I had “art block,” I mean that before the block, ideas came easily and effortlessly. A never-ending flow of creative possibilities filled my brain. If I had a free block of time, I could sit and create things for hours and hours with no interruption. My art block began slowly, and it ended slowly as well. I tried everything to have a big breakthrough. There were times when I thought I was there, but it was just earlier this week, as I scribbled ideas frantically in my planner, that I realized I was back.

I am so happy to have ideas flowing again, even if I don’t execute them all. I used to feel burdened by my overflowing brain. It sometimes feels like someone has turned a faucet on full force and removed the handle, but it did take losing it all to realize that generating ideas is one of my greatest superpowers.

Although mentally I have felt more myself than ever in the last few months, I still was not able to create the way I really wanted to until about three weeks ago. Here is what I changed to break free of that last little bit of resistance. I hope this helps anyone who has been feeling this way as of late.

Because art content is my full-time job at the moment, it took me a long time to take the break from social media that I needed. I do not recommend this path because when my tower moment finally came, the tower didn’t simply fall; it exploded. I deleted my YouTube account, my 8,000 follower TikTok, and the voice in my head was whispering at me to delete Instagram as well - I listened to my sister on that one and kept my account but archived hundreds of posts. I quite literally didn’t want anyone to look at me. I took a breath for a couple of months, and I came back not because I needed to but because I honestly missed making my videos. I had worked so hard to build a sustainable platform, and it was important to me. I made a list of boundaries for myself when I came to social media, and for the last month and change, those boundaries have served me well. My account is growing steadily. I know now that I don’t need to have it because I survived without it. I treat it like a job now and not an extension of my whole self.

Working on my relationship with social media put me in a positive headspace to create and share again. The world is heavy. I decided it was okay for me to be light and share light-hearted things; my content is useful in times like these because it doesn’t require obscure supplies. Sometimes it doesn’t require buying anything at all. Affordability is valuable in times of insecurity. Which leads me to the next part of my journey: Allowing myself to think positively and to speak nicely and highly of myself.

Being nice to myself, loving myself, thinking highly of myself, all of these things were the last part of breaking through my art block. When you truly believe that everything you are doing is awesome and great and worthy of being seen, then you will never hesitate to execute your creative ideas. You are a genius! You are wonderful! You are an amazing and innovative artist.

Just holding the energy that no one can do what you do can propel you right out of imposter syndrome and self doubt. The trick is not to follow it up with something self deprecating.

The most important lesson in all of this for me was that it is okay for me to CREATE FOR MYSELF FIRST and for my “audience” later. Creating for myself only helped me open a portal to what types of art and style feel most like ME. So when I do make something, I am excited to share to the world. I know that it is a direct extension of myself and not just something I did for the “views”.

To end this post, I am attaching my newest Youtube video where I clean my desk, do some collaging, and talk more about this.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

But first: I have launched a new Youtube channel! The first video is below because it is all about me finishing up these cards. I hope you will join me over there for even more free content (craft videos, vlogs, etc).

Now on to the news: I finished another abandoned project yesterday! My 2nd oracle deck. I had 6 cards that were unfinished, and I could not get out of my head to get them done….

I decided to turn on my ipad and record the process of getting them finished. It is a chatty video because running my mouth helps my productivity levels (apparently).

I hope you all enjoy the video - Onto the next thing (my castle dollhouse!)

See you next week!

They were right. Yes, of course, I have finished things in the past 5 or so years, but the list of ongoing, unfinished, and destroyed projects is long. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been obsessing over building a Cyber Deck. I was hyperfixated on obtaining parts and watching videos on how to make them, but after this conversation, I had to step back and hit pause. Why was I trying to collect and buy supplies for a project that may get laid to the side or just be DOA altogether?

There are other issues at play here, as well. I get easily overwhelmed by what I am doing because I have limited time and want to make the most of it. This sometimes leads me to just scrolling on my phone for hours, which is most definitely not productive. I self-sabotage because I feel like whatever I'm doing is not “good” enough, and sometimes I generally just forget because I am not as organized as I wish that I were.

Here is what I have decided to. I am going to tackle one ongoing project a week. I am going to film as much of it as possible because using my phone to film will keep me off my phone.

On the docket for the next few weeks is the following:

Finishing my dollhouse/castle made out of recycled materials

Finishing my new oracle card deck

Finishing the book: “The Way Of Integrity” and the art journal I have going as a companion.

Spending the last 3 months of my ancestry.com membership trying to fill in as much of my family tree as possible.

Spending a few hours a week learning how to use my DJ setup correctly

CATCHING UP WITH AND FINISHING THE 100 DAY PROJECT

Last but not least, two projects that are well along that I don’t want to speak about yet because I’m obsessed with them, but also I am scared of them (don’t ask me to explain this logic).

These are things I want to work on and want to finish because they are important to me. I know that if I spend less time overthinking and more time doing these projects will reach completion.

I will share my progress here weekly to keep myself accountable.

x, Meghann

Okay, let’s get into it since this will be a bit longer email today.

Big news: I have decided to start posting on Instagram again. I took a 2-month break, and over that time, I went back and forth on the idea of deleting it altogether. I always find something strangely satisfying in the idea of completely disappearing. However, I saw a message earlier this month that reiterated something my sister had told me a couple of months ago: “You don’t need to destroy everything you have built to start over.” I could probably write an entire essay on just this topic alone (and maybe I will).

I realized over my little break that my social media presence belongs to me and I alone am in control of how I want to express myself in these spaces. I cannot control how other people respond to my work, but I can control how I react and how I present myself and my art. I love show and tell, I love teaching, and I love being a creator, and I decided to lean into that in a new and different way instead of torturing myself with false ideas of what I “must” do and give up.

I have decided to keep my page as a living portfolio. Examples of my art and teaching style in a format that allows the viewer to watch my style shift and evolve. I am keeping my Instagram for myself, not for the approval of anyone else.

Moving along, let’s talk about all my favorite things in March.

MARCH FAVORITES

Number one is this SUNEE planner I bought on a whim at the end of February. I could not justify the price of a hobonochi this year and this a5 planner is the perfect dupe. It gives me a full page to work with every day and I don’t feel bad about just using it to scibble in because it was so affordable. I think I may actually use this one for the whole year!

I have been making these vegan chocolate chip cookies every weekend! They are so good. I add half a banana to the wet ingredients and some walnuts in for extra crunch!

I have now developed a full multi step skin care routine that is actually working for me! I have made it such a ritual that I even managed to keep it up when I was sick. I have roseca that flared up after my first bout with long covid and my skin is now insanely sensitive. I am using all Korean products at the moment and will share via video soon.. (I am starting my vlogging career - more on that later).

Before I wrap this all up I wanted to tell you all what I have planned for this platform as I have bee consistant with it over the past month or so.

I will be sending out two newsletters a week. The first one will do out on Monday’s and will contain a video to a lesson or class I previously hosted on another platform. I have lots of new ideas brewing as well so all new classes will go out in these Monday e-mails. These e-mails are for paid subscribers only but at $5/month I dont think 3-4 classes a week is a bad price for that much content.

My second email will go out on Friday or Saturday and will be essay based. Things I thought about during the week, updates on ongoing projects, and general rambling.

There are lots of things I would like to try this year and this is the place in which I will document it all.

Thank you for being here!

x

Meghann

This is my mood board for the week. My journals are currently on this level and that is why I no longer show them.

I am finishing this late again. I might as well rename it at this point, but I am stubborn.

I was sick for most of this week. I came down with a 100-degree fever on Wednesday. Now it is Friday, and I have taken so much DayQuil I can’t really tell you if I feel better or not.

Being sick had me in a little bit of an internet scroll hole. My algorithm on my art account is showing me a lot of people running successful journaling workshops and memberships. My logical brain knows that doing these types of things is not what I actually want to be doing, but my ego is salty that I didn’t (and don’t) have the same amount of success and opportunity as some of these other creators.

My logical brain knows that this is NOT what I want, but because I have not yet made what I want to happen, happen, I am spending precious energy being jealous of other people doing what makes them happy - but why?

Because I feel stuck at what to do next, and that is okay. I know that a little rest and journaling will bring me back to task. I also know that at times like this, when everything feels so uncertain and chaotic, it can be really easy to give up, but I won’t be doing that either. I also know that a path will show itself to me if I allow it to.

I know that feeling jealous is normal. I know that feeling like I missed out on something is also normal, but I try to allow myself these feelings and then move through them as quickly as possible, because I know they are not productive for me. Feeling bad for myself does not help me reach my goals faster, nor does it make me more creative.

The best action I can take in a scenario like this is to simply put my phone down, stop looking at other people’s lives, and find the magic in my own.

In other news, I have been on Pinterest a lot over the last year, making boards for everything that makes me feel something. Right now, I am channeling summer glamour magic. My muse for this vibe is 1993 Janet Jackson, the year she released her album: janet. An Album I probably had no business listening to at 9 years old, and yet this music video encapsulates everything I wanted to be when I grew up. So when you see me in khaki this summer, you know what I was thinking about.

I missed my dad a lot this week. Thethirdr anniversary of his passing is coming up on Easter, and so far it hasn’t gotten any easier to deal with. The new Spiderman movie trailer came out, and I cried over the kitchen sink at 7am because I couldn’t send it to him. The movie looks amazing, though, somehow that made it worse.

This week I had a lot 2 different people comment on how much lighter and happier I seem since I have cut down on looking at Instagram and engaging with comments. I began writing a longer essay-style post about how much better I feel in general since I purposely decided to just NOT be social. After years of chasing around some kind of community, deciding to just put myself first has been different but refreshing. Having an online presence is weird because it gives you a false sense of people caring about you when, really, (a lot of the time) you are just part of the scroll. More on this later for sure.

I do 100% recomend a detox from whatever your most used platform is, especially if you have found yourself getting agitated by what you are looking at.

This week I had a thought that I never want to share the inside of my journals online ever again. I don’t know if this is something that is true or not. I am a “show and tell” girlie, I love to share what I am doing so this feeling of wanting no one to look at what I am doing is new to me. Like I want to keep everything safe from other people’s opinions and energy. I think it may be like this for a while because it put me into a healthier, more productive creative headspace.

I have noticed that I have become flashier in other areas. My Hair is a brighter pink, I refreshed all my cosmetics and wardrobe. I am more confident than I have been in years, and maybe I no longer need that validation from strangers on every aspect of my artwork. Of course, I will still share projects with you all here, but my journals remain mine.

The week ahead brings Spring and the Aries Season. As a kid who grew up celebrating Naw Ruz and the equinox, this time of year is when I feel the most connected to renewal. I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year brings.

x Meghann