Where to begin.
I made some big decisions this week.
I won’t get into all of them on this post but I have felt the gentle tugs of change yet again. As if someone is constantly dragging me along but allows me to stop and catch my breath -but never for very long.
When I started to post my artwork online I was just excited to share whatever I was doing. I didn’t have a lot of expectations but I wasn’t new to making art, I wasnt new to journaling, or collage, or painting. I went to art school. My father was an illustrator and an amazing oil painter. My mother is a collage artist and participated in altered book round robins and ATC trades for my entire childhood, my grandmother went to Pratt and painted still life watercolor paintings. Art, and making art in a lot of ways is something that I knew and know. But I like to learn and I always assume there is more to learn so I immersed myself in all the techniques, classes, etc and I caught on fast because things felt familiar - like riding a bike or something and when I found my style I found a part of myself that had been missing for a long time.
I could write a book on the things that have been said to me in the past couple of years about the speed in which I work, the amount I am able to create in a small amount of time. I have been called “crazy” for taking on larger projects or for having ideas that seemed lofty or big. When I started to be asked to participate in collabs and projects I had someone come into my instagram messages to attack me about the attention I was getting that they weren’t. All this to say I kept on and on vowing that this would never break me until something did break me: Losing my dad.
And now it is nearly a year since that and I do not even know the person who started these social media accounts 3 years ago. I keep posting my journals but it does not feel the same. I keep more to myself and I was finding myself more and more isolated - but last weekend I went an exhibit about zines at the Brooklyn Museuem of Art and it changed me. THIS WAS IT.
Zines are a way for me to share my thoughts and my artwork in a meaningful way. In a small format. Zine Making does not require tons of supplies, and fancy things it can be whatever I need it to be. And at the end I will have something to share with people who will appreciate it because people who read and make zines appreciate them for what they are.
I want to share things. I need community and I know this is the right path for me.
I will still work in my journals but I am allowing myself to let go of all these supplies and all this stuff I made that makes me feel empty. For me it has always been about the “doing” and when the doing it done I move on.
Anyway, it has been so long since I have been excited about something and of course I have big plans (I am a manifesting generator after all). I look forward to sharing my plans, and my zines, and lots of new content here as I blog my way through this journey.
x
Meghann
Wow, you have a real artistic family, art is born in you. I am excited to join you on this new journey as I am a new subscriber.
Thank you for this reminder. What a big shift this last year has brought. I''m so glad that this exhibit sparked something in you because we love to see it and, especially, we need to hear your voice! It's going to be epic!